I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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