I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you traded sex for a burrito?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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