It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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