Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
