TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
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