Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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