I'm drive I can fine osifer
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
