i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
