just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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