I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
