3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
