oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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