we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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