FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
