brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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