She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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