So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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