my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
