Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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