I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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