I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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