Tell her she can't have a vagina
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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