I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
