ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
