I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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