I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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