i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
