Please, let me fuck your mom
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
