He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
