It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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