why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
