is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
