he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
