Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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