If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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