just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
