We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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