There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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