i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
