Christians are straight up FREAKS
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
