we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
