return my video game
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
