i think i have two assholes
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
bring money and cleavage
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
