its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
