We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
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