I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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