is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
50% drunk capacity currently
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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