I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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