I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
