I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
