Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
They should really pass out barf bags in church
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
